How to deal with infertility
BE HAPPY
Everyone dreams of being happy, but most people look for happiness from outside: in a good career, personal successes. But in reality, external circumstances have nothing to do with our personal happiness. It is probably familiar to everyone: we think that some object or event can make us happy. For example, if you dream of having a car, you think that once you have it, you will immediately become happy. But when you do get a car, nothing really changes, except that travel becomes more comfortable. The result is that time and time again, we look for happiness from the outside instead of turning to ourselves and realising that you are already happy. It’s just a question of what you’re paying more attention to: your suffering or your personal happiness. If you already feel happy, the struggle with infertility will be difficult, but it won’t ruin your life or rob you of your last strength.
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As much as it may sound, you need to stop worrying about the things that you can’t change right now. Start by putting yourself in a positive mood. This can be very difficult and often requires the help of a professional psychologist, but the result is really worth it.
SUPPORT FOR OTHERS
We all need help and support from others from time to time. This is especially true in cases of infertility, when you are undergoing a long course of treatment or IVF. Each of us needs someone to listen, a shoulder to lean on. It is important to remember that you are not alone. Many people with infertility problems realise how important it is to help others and to accept help yourself. A great way to do this is to talk to couples who are experiencing the same problems as you are. It doesn’t have to be personal: there are many blogs and forums on the internet where people who have experienced infertility share their experiences and help each other through this period in their lives. There you can listen to other people, find moral support for yourself, learn a lot and listen to a lot of useful advice. This can really make you a little happier: first of all, you will see that your infertility problem is not the end. In the forums you will find many women who have been treated for infertility for years and are now happy raising their babies. It gives you hope, helps to calm down and makes you a little happier.
WHAT DOES NOT KILL US MAKES US STRONGER
This famous Nietzsche phrase really has a basis in itself. Solving your infertility problem will help you to become more sensitive and understanding towards people around you, learning how to reach out for help and accept this help when you need it. In addition, all subsequent trials and problems will be perceived by you as something simple and temporary compared to the way you deal with the really serious problems.
How you feel about the need to struggle ultimately defines your personality. Infertility and the treatment that follows will teach you to be stronger and will reveal potential and strengths in you that you didn’t know you had.
DON’T GIVE UP ON PROFESSIONAL HELP
Infertility problems have two components: medical and psychological. It wouldn’t occur to you to treat infertility yourself, would it? The same goes for the psychological side: many women refuse to see a psychologist because they think it should only be done in very extreme cases. In fact, the job of a psychologist is just to help you through the difficult days, to find the strength to continue fighting, to learn to appreciate what you already have. Often infertility becomes a very serious blow, which ruins your understanding of the world, you stop enjoying life, you do not understand its value. The task of a psychologist is to give you back your joy in life, to teach you to understand that you are already happy. You don’t have to be afraid of this help, because a psychologist will really help you to understand yourself. Of course, you will eventually do this yourself, but it takes months and sometimes years, whereas with the help of a psychologist you can sort yourself out much faster, which will make you more constructive and you will channel your energies into what they are really worth.
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